Thursday, September 27, 2007

Home trends that shouldn't be

Remember the Fuller Brush Man? If you don't, you're probably under 40, and you probably don't remember milkmen, paperboys, and the Helms Bakery truck either. I remember 'our' salesman - he was a older, bejowled man with glasses, a suit and tie, hat, and a big case filled with combs, brushes, cleaning products and the like. When he'd come by, my mom would make me answer the door. I'd have to lie about her being busy, or taking a nap, or something. My mom still has one of the letter openers.

I just thought of something: My mother-in-law worked in the Fuller Brush factory in New York in the 1950's.

Anyway, I get this catalog in the mail called "Home Trends, Practical Products For Practical People." This catalog hocks many household items, minus the annoying salesguy. I don't know why it keeps coming - I never buy anything. Like the old salesman at our door, it doesn't take 'no' for an answer.

There are hundreds of household products listed in there, many of them 'as seen on TV'. Lots of them are, in fact, practical.

Then there are the disturbing products. Here are a few.

I really hate bugs, but I particularly hate the ones that might crawl inside my bed and chew on me while I'm asleep. The thought is enough to make me sleep on the kitchen table. But I don't what's worse - bugs in my bed or inhaling insecticide all night.

If I choose to buy this rather than stop eating like a pig, just shoot me. Really.

Wear 'Frownies' to bed, and wake up wrinkle free, husband free and boyfriend free.

Did you move a desk into the bathroom? Just how long were you intending to sit there?

Sorry honey. Santa won't be coming down the chimney this year. He was absorbed by the alien tree outside.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well at least none of your " Disturbing Products " are manufactured by Fuller Brush.

Dan the Fuller Brush Man