Monday, July 2, 2007

Scary Tree is Gone!


Oh my gosh, the Scary Tree has been cut down.

Today, a squadron of Latino gentlemen arrived in a large disheveled truck with implements of destruction. Their goal - to execute the Scary Tree.

Not a small job, and one not taken up by the lighthearted run-of-the-mll gardener. Nope, this job entailed the use of CHAINSAWS. Serious stuff.

But now that it's gone, I'm waxing nostalgic. I mean, my husband and I now have that much less to make fun of. Having a Scary Tree as a neighbor did have its upside. For example, if you shook it, black dandruff would fall off the leaves, giving a Darkside version of snow. In southern California, that's as close as we get, folks.

Of course, the removal of the tree exposes other problems. Now that it's gone, the trash cans are exposing their naughty bits to us in all their smelly grey glory. I'd just as soon not see what my neighbors have been eating for the last week. And, of course, Juan's Tree Removal Service did not remove the pile of defunct Scary Tree sawdust. Nor did they remove the pile of dead Scary Tree leaves that are composting on the roof of the Butt Ugly Apartment.

Beggers can't be choosers, I guess.

My husband is happy. He can now walk unmolested down the sidewalk. My plants are happy. They receive life-giving sunshine that was sucked up when Scary Tree still haunted the neighborhood. But I will always have a soft spot in my heart for it.

I think that I shall never see
Another deformed Scary Tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Rending the flesh from a robin's breast;
A tree that looks like hell all day,
And eats the squirrel as dinner prey;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A sheath of mildew'd underwear
Upon whose blossoms bugs have slain;
Who's crust and mold had caused a stain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only Venusians can make a Scary Tree.


-- sorry Joyce Kilmer

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